The White Maggot Story

Googled "sexy white maggot"

I know everyone who tells a story like this makes themselves out to be the perfectly rational one in the scenario. But I think anyone who has ever worked in a restaurant, especially as a manager, has stories like this one. Bear in mind, a manager's job is to remain calm.

We had a party of 18 come in and buy a bunch of birthday desserts at the end of their meal. We didn't normally sing to birthday people, but someone thought it'd be funny to make Gerardo put on a little sombrero and sing happy birthday. Gerardo had only been there for a week and was a shy guy, so I thought it'd be funny; after all, the group had a huge bill. I couldn't let him go it alone, so I put on a lucha libre mask, and Gerardo put on a little sombrero, and we sang happy birthday to the table whilst delivering four giant desserts.

Back in the kitchen, a server told me a guest was being very rude to her saying she wanted me to sing happy birthday. I sent out a free dessert and asked the server to kindly tell her that we don't normally sing and the masked man has left the building, but her birthday dessert was on us.

We got a little rush in business just then and I forgot about it, but a bit later the same server said someone wanted to speak with me. So I dropped everything and went out to the table.

"Hi ladies, my name's Sky; how's everything going?" I said in my nicest voice possible.
"Well, the service was great, the food was good, but you're a fucking ass hole."
One lady was eating the dessert I'd sent out. Their meals were in to-go bags. They'd already settled their tab. She just wanted to curse me out.
"What happened, what's going on?" I ignored the insult to figure out why she would be so rude.
"You didn't sing to my friend!"
"Oh," I smiled, "that's not normally something we do, we were just playing a joke on the new guy. I'm sorry we didn't sing. I can sing for you right now if you'd like."
"I don't want anything from you!"
"Maybe I can look at your tab and take something off."
"I don't want anything for free!"
"I did send out a free dessert for your friend's birthday."
"We had to wait forever for it."
"Ma'am, I'd really like to fix the problem, but I don't know how I can do that. You don't like the free dessert, you won't let me reopen your tab, and you don't want me to sing."
That's when the birthday girl put down her spoon and said "You're the fucking manager, you ain't got no fucking skills."
Too which I said, "well you're obviously a classy lady that doesn't have the time for the likes of me, so I'll say thank you and I'm sorry your experience wasn't what you wanted. Happy birthday," and I walked away. I really thought that was my only option: remain calm and polite and walk away.

I posted up at the host stand because people who go nuts on the manager usually like screaming at the hosts, and I hate that. What do you seek to gain by yelling at an 18-year-old girl who has nothing to do with you?

First the ladies went to the bar and said something about how I think I can treat them any kind of way because of who's president. The bartender just nodded in that scared way service people nod when people have gone psycho.

Then someone was at the front door, so I opened it for them. They walked in and when I looked over my shoulder the ladies were RIGHT BEHIND ME. So I smiled, held the door, and said "have a great night."

The first lady walked through without a word, but the second started hollering at me. "I ain't walking through no door held by you. Fuck you peasant mother fucker. Fucking white maggot. I'll beat your white ass."

"Ma'am, please just go. Your night gets better the second you leave. Have a great night."
"Fuck you maggot. Get out of my way."

So I asked her friend to hold the door and got out of the way. But that wasn't enough.

"Fucking maggot. Get outta here."
"Ma'am, that's not how this works. You're the one who has to leave, and I'm the one who has to stay. I live here. Please just have a great night."

She had her back to her friend and the front door and kept screaming "white maggot." And I kept saying "Have a great night." The whole restaurant was staring. Later, many of them would console me, including three black dudes who apologized on behalf of black people, a first in my life. I've apologized for racist white ass holes many times in my life, but I'd never been on the receiving end of that weird apology.

Then the lady crossed the line, and I almost lost it. She said, "you support Donald Trump and think that gives you all the power!"

"Lady, if you don't leave I'm calling the police. I might be a white maggot, but I'm no fucking Trump supporter. Now GET OUT!"

---

The lady called corporate the next day saying she had other problems in life and that I egged her on. I told corporate I would have taken care of their meal and sung to them even after they called me a fucking ass hole, but when you start off calling someone a fucking ass hole, there's not a lot of places that conversation can go.

She wanted to abuse someone, and there I was. But she would have had a much better night if she had just a tiniest collection of manners at her disposal.

What Kind of Scotch Should I Get My High Roller

The MACALLAN M at Whiskey Down
Guest Blog by Kanna Smith

Eager to be a part of something new and learn about a spirit that I didn’t even like before, I started working at the brand new Whiskey Down in the middle of the MGM Grand Casino in Las Vegas. I was frustratingly scheduled 1AM-9AM, the hours when sobriety is rare, manners and inhibitions rarer, and small-town women realize the enormous responsibility of high heels.

If there were guests, they were too drunk to drink, or too rude to serve. I had an odd amount of power as a cocktail server: if I didn’t like you, you didn’t drink. You could stumble into any other bar you wanted to in MGM, but I'd have already given my friends there a heads up. Sorry bud, you’re done drinking for the night.

Opening night at Whiskey Down

I tried to exercise caution. I would make the call only when I was certain that the douchebag I was kicking out was just that, a simple drunk douchebag. . . because money talks in Vegas, more so than anywhere else. It screams at you from every machine, every table, every hooker’s eyes as they follow their unsuspecting marks to the bar. And that's what screamed at us when one of the youngest millionaires in the world requested we carry Macallan M at Whiskey Down.

My ears rang when he came in. He was polite, liked whiskey, tipped well, and was a big gambler. There was nothing more I wanted in a guest. He was drunk this evening, more than I had ever seen him.

“Whisky makes me frisky.”
-Some drunk guy probably

“I’d like an M. neat please,” he slurred, eyelids dropping.

I smelled a delicious opportunity in the alcohol on his breath. As I delivered the M, I mentioned my love of whisky and my curiosity surrounding the single malt.

“You’ve never had it?” He asked thickly. I could hear the concern in his voice. I nearly had him.

I blinked coyly, “I can’t afford it." That sealed it. He instructed me to add another to his tab, so I could enjoy it after work.

What followed was the longest shift of my life. I couldn’t wait to try this $730-per-1.5-ounce Scotch! 9AM finally came, and after I tasted the whisky, I nearly did too. I carefully brought the glass to my lips and slowly let the liquid gold touch my tongue. The warm scent of dried apricot melted delicately into flavors of vanilla with a tart plum finish. The first swallow numbed my entire mouth; a sensation I’ve not experienced since.

And though I’ve had the Macallan M once more since that fateful night with my high roller, you know what they say… You never forget your first.

The MACALLAN story »

Vegans

I've been vegan for about 13 years now.
I think it's a great thing for the health of the planet and yourself. I also think it's an ethical imperative since animals have the capacity to suffer. You can read this book if you want. Animal Liberation: The Definitive Classic of the Animal Movement

I manage a restaurant that offers a fairly impressive vegan menu.

Sometimes restaurants make mistakes. A guest said that the same mistake was made on her order three times on three separate dates, which sounds very strange. She claims she received real sour cream (instead of vegan sour) on the side of a vegan quesadilla. It makes me think that she might be perceiving our vegan sour to be dairy even though it isn't. But nonetheless, it was to-go order, so I don't have the luxury of finding out if she's right or wrong.

She got online to blast the restaurant on Yelp and Facebook, and here's where I think she hurts vegans. If you go online to blast a restaurant trying to cater to your minority view of the world, it makes restaurant people simply not want to cater to it. If my restaurant ripped the vegan menu out, it wouldn't even be a blip on our bottom line. We do it because it's a growing opportunity and because it's fun and interesting. We think it sets us apart from other restaurants, and we think it's a great way to contribute to a community. Also, some of us are vegans.

And if you blast restaurants making an effort to be part of the vegan community, you're hurting animals. When McDonald's finally gets around to offering something vegan, there will be stinkers like this lady making every executive there throw up their hands and say "fuck this vegan shit, let's just keep doing what we're doing; it isn't worth the trouble."

Thrillist Wrote an Article. I'm in it, and there's a Cartoon of Me, too!

That's me next to Li'l Jon. He used to like to stop by the Lobby Bar at MGM Grand after his sets at Hakkasan to drink tequila; maybe he still does. I don't know anymore because I don't work there anymore. I miss it a lot sometimes, and this article makes me see it all with rosy glasses. It's also really cool to be mentioned in an article like this. It was a long time coming, and I wish I'd been there long enough to print it out and frame it on our wall.

Casey Childers spent a whole 24-hour period in our bar. He saw a lot. It was a slow day, so I wish he'd seen how crazy it got, but he saw enough. He talks about a lot of my team, and it was an honor to work with them.

Check it out.

Geeks Who Drink at Beerhaus

We've been doing Geeks Who Drink quiz night at Beerhaus for a few weeks now, and I think it's pretty awesome. Summer is generally the slowest time in Vegas, so to have locals show up week after week is really cool and really helpful because Beerhaus looks better when there are people in it.

We do Trivia from 8 - 10 every Tuesday night. There are prizes. Beer!

Also, Micky the quizmaster does a little blog recap I like.

Last week, we had 11 teams. The goal is 18 so Micky can get an assistant. I think we're the only one on the strip doing a trivia night like this, so I hope it continues to grow as strip-dwellers hear about it. 

The Eats Counter

Interestingly, there seems to be a problem with people in Las Vegas understanding Beerhaus is a bar that happens to have some food available. Most people get it: we have an Eats Counter where, if you're drinking and want some food, you can go get some. Servers and bartenders serve drinks, and there's a place to get food if you get hungry.

But there are still a few who act like this is the craziest thing they've ever heard. We even have a cool neon sign showing them where to order. This is wasted on such people. We have pagers we give out to alert patrons when their food is ready, and they come and get it, and they are happy with our simple menu, but still there are others who throw up their hands and won't have any of it. It's strange to me.

Anyway, I've been working at Beerhaus. I work 12-15 hours a day and haven't had two days off in a row in almost four months. Everything I was doing in my life has been put on hold for this project, and it's been a crazy experience I hope to write about more as we go.

Do you like bars? Do you like beer gardens? You should check out Beehaus. You'll love it. If you get peckish, follow our retro neon illumination to a successful sating of your hunger.

David Copperfield

When I was a kid, I saw David Copperfield twice. His show was incredible and sparked my imagination for a lifetime. He was a childhood hero. Last night I finally got to see his Vegas show at my work.

My friend Yosuke was visiting from Japan, and we walked around on the strip, and we ended up at MGM Grand because it's on the way to my house. I live in waling distance from my work, so I kind of had to walk through the casino to get home. We stopped for a drink at Centrifuge and the Manager there, Adrian, recommended that we go see David Copperfield. I'd been meaning to see the show, and the timing was perfect.

We got seats right in the middle of the room; fantastic hook up! 

Copperfield's new show isn't the daring, death-defying act that I remember from 20+ years ago, but it is still an awe-inspiring 90 minutes. His illusions are a mix of ones you've loved to see him do on TV a million times and a few that blow you away. There's a dinosaur-sized dinosaur skeleton and a spaceship-sized spaceship that leave you wondering how such huge props were built and how they got them into the theater. And where did they come from? Where were they while the illusion was staging? David Copperfield actually exclaims, "It's a god damned spaceship!" And it is! It's a god damned spaceship. How the hell did they get a god damned spaceship in here?

En bref, j'ame David Copperfield. If you're in Vegas and thinking about seeing a magic show, why not see the greatest illusionist of our time? It's a remarkable display of talent and nearly a half century's worth of experience. 

Negroni Variations for Negroni Week

My bars, the Lobby Bar at MGM Grand and Rouge Lounge are participating in Negroni Week (6.1.15-6.7.15). I'm excited about it. Here's what we're offering in addition to the tried-and-true, traditional bitter aperitif. 

Negroni Variations for Negroni Week:

Boulevardier

• Equal parts Rye, Campari, Sweet Vermouth

Cherry Negroni

• Equal parts Gin, Campari, Luxardo Maraschino

Negroni Sbagliato

• Equal parts Prosecco, Campari, Sweet Vermouth

Americano

• 1 oz Gin, 1 oz Campari, a splash of soda 

I Found 52 Bottles of Belle Epoque

My boss gave me our dead stock list and said, "see what you can do with this, bud." It was divided into liquor/beer/etc., and I went straight for wine. One of my favorite bottles of Champagne jumped out at me: Perrier-Jouët Belle Epoque. And you know what? 2004! 2004 was the first year they started painting the bottles since 1902!!!

I couldn't believe it. I wanted to just open a bottle and drink it. If this were my spot, I'd take one home and drink it alone and take pictures. I still got to taste it, and holy crap. It's 2015 now. So, it's about 10.5 years old, I'd say. That's about the perfect amount of age on a bottle of Champagne, and I have to say, this juice has done well. I mean, this is kept in MGM Grand's cooler, which is perfectly maintained.

Toasty almondy, appley gold, and just a touch of lees to make you know it's been done the old-fashioned way. This is an elegant lady the rougher beasts of this breathing world won't appreciate, but if you've got any finesse, any passing grace, you'll notice the subtle curves in her bubbly mouth. And the outside of the bottle is nice, too. It's hand-painted, designed by a famous Japanese artist, and inspired by Art Nouveau, which is one of my personal favorites when it comes to architecture and design.

Essentially, I found a treasure. I put it in the Mansion bar at MGM Grand a few days ago, and we've sold a couple bottles. I priced it at a seriously low cost because I was really excited about sharing it: $283. That's a steal... like, really.

Anyway, it's my dream that someone will come into the Mansion bar, find it through the high-roller casino, and ask for this very special bottle. Keep the bottle, take it home with you and put it on a shelf. It's special.

Check this out ↯

Ellis Island

Ellis Island is a brewery in Vegas, but who cares? They're not winning any awards any time soon; so what? They're selling their brews for $2.00, and some guy who sounds exactly like R. Kelly is on stage singing Karaoke.

A couple guys sit with me at the bar. They're in Vegas from Colorado to tell resorts if lightning would ever strike the hotel ten times all at once. "No. Well, maybe in ten thousand years. Mostly we tell them what'll happen when the biggest flood Vegas has ever seen comes around." They tell me which properties are safest when Noah's deluge comes round, but the conversation starts and ends with talk of zombie apocalypse. "But we're nice guys; we're not all doom and gloom."

One of the guys sings. it's almost closing time. The lady who sang Amy Winehouse perfectly when I first arrived can hardly stand on stage now. R. Kelly can't read the words on the teleprompter. Things fall apart. The center cannot hold.

It's a great crowd. People carry crooners through the choruses, the Karaoke jockey cranks the back up vocals during the verses. There's no shame to be spotted. A group of black ladies gets up and tries to sing Pussy Cat Dolls.

Last call lumbers in like a Lazarus Bukowski because I thought this place was 24. Most of us shuffle out and find our way to the buffet, which is about to open. I make a quick lap of the casino instead and take in the decor and study their brewery through the glass for a few minutes. I've got to keep moving.

I've had a great time, but I'm in no mood to loiter in the light. There's entropy in the air, and I'm starting to think there's an apocalypse afoot. But isn't there always?

Dino's Lounge

Some people think my life is fancy. It is pretty glamorous. But I also love 24-hour dive bars if they have character. I don't like going to some random shit hole, mind you, but if there's a place boasting character and history, I'm probably totally into it. Dino's is one of those places.

I rolled in there in a suit at 3;30 in the morning. It's across the street from a collection of seedy strip joints and sleazy motels that give the northern part of the Boulevard its reputation. Dino's parking lot is the kind of place where you shouldn't be surprised to find me dead one day.

Inside is everything you want out of a place claiming to be "THE LAST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR IN LAS VEGAS." From the spotty neon to the light-bulb-eyed taxidermy to the signs promising events, to the ceiling tiles painted by local artists, there's plenty for your eyes to drink. The only people in the bar were a couple who'd just moved here from Wyoming or something. They wanted to know how to get casino jobs. I told them to stay drug free.

The bartender told me his name was Ryder. I said bartender's choice, and he said Jame-o. This town's relationship with Jameson is zombie-like. I ended up doing some Jame-o shots with Ryder between Dry Manhattans. Turned out Ryder used to live with one of my cocktail servers. He's perfect at the job. He cares about his room and his customers and seems to know everyone in town. I don't know why he's on Grave, but I'm glad he is because at 5 AM, having a bartender like him is a good thing.

A lady comes in wearing a sexed up costume. She works at one of the sexy-waitress-PBR-slinging-rock-n-roll bars. She and Ryder declare their undying affection for one another.Everyone's happy to be alive in a world where the sun is a dying star. In a good bar, it's always 10 PM. At Dino's who gives a shit? It's dark and the world outside is a shambles.

Cops come in and ask for a guy. He's not in here; it's just Ryder and me who have dicks now. We all give each other looks because the cops being in the parking lot means we're staying for a couple more rounds. Ryder knows how to talk to them, and they're nice to him. They say there's a report of a girl getting dragged unwillingly into a car in the parking lot.The name they want came off a license plate check. The girls says she saw the car when she came in, but it's gone now.

I end up leaving at dawnish promising to return. I probably will soon. I like this place. This is my neighborhood.

Atomic Cocktails

I was really excited about this one. One of the bartenders at Herbs & Rye suggested it as an after-hours spot (they're open until 4), and I love Herbs & Rye, so why wouldn't I love this suggestion?

I went to their website and read about how they found an old safe and how they totally retrofitted everything and how people used to watch the atomic testing from the roof. I was amped.

I walked from the top of Fremont and when I got past El Cortez, there was a fleeting moment when I thought maybe I'm getting too old to just be walking into bad parts of town, and I chuckled to myself. This isn't really the bad part of town, but it is very close, and I've seen worse. It does get darker quickly once you get past the Container Park, though. If I were smaller or a woman, I wouldn't want to walk it.

Once in the door I took in the atmosphere, which is a retro, low-light, very Vegas feel... still in love. I recognize the very bartender who recommended me come here sitting at the far end. I recognize a tourist I'd met the night before. I say hi to both. I sit down. A guy with a beard asks me what I want. Then everything kind of started sucking. I got into conversations with a couple people at the bar about cars, and that was cool, and there was a lady bartender there who seemed to be on her shit, but this bearded guy was far too douchey for the vibe at Atomic Cocktails. Dude rubbed me the wrong way.

I'm not the biggest stickler, especially in Vegas, especially after midnight. But this was my day off, so it was probably only around 7 or 8, and this place came pretty highly recommended. So, to have a douchey bartender is just unacceptable and puts a damper on what was otherwise a good beverage adventure. Plus, his cocktails sucked. I can drink a shitty cocktail from a friendly bartender or a great one from a dick hole, but when you're a prick serving me crappy cocktails, I'd rather just go to a local beer bar and save my money.

I'll probably go back some day and try not to sit in this guy's section because I really liked the feel of the room, but not for a bit. My days off are too few to be sold garbage drinks by a guy whose beard is his most interesting attribute.

The tourist and I went to Le Thai and Downtown Cocktail Room.

The Whiskey Down

The Whiskey Down is one of my favorite places at the MGM Grand. Before I worked there, I enjoyed having a drink at this lounge, and I adored the atmosphere, which is borderline steam-punk meets speakeasy.

Late at night, I help manage the Whiskey Down. The bartenders at night are super sassy/nice. The cocktail waitresses are funny. The atmosphere is awesome. The lighting is mercifully dim.

There are Black Jack tables in there. There are overstuffed couches and low tables. It's the kind of place that invites you to stay for a spell. It's right in the middle of one of the largest casino floors in America, but it feels intimate and private. Edison bulbs help the old-world quaintness, and there's a delightfully curated collection of old bottles and photos on the walls.

There's also whiskey.

If you're in Vegas, come visit. You'll like it.

A Personal Update

FAQ:

What's with your name?

I changed my name when I started travelling seriously and living in other countries. When I came back to the states, I brought a person with me who called me Jack, so everyone else called me Jack, too. Some of my oldest friends and family call me Skyler or Sky. Most of them live in the western United States. Then some people started calling me SkyJack. I like that. But you can call me Sky, Jack, Skyler, SkyJack, or Captain. Those are all the things people still call me, and I'm OK with that. How did I think I was going to have this unique, distinctive, adventurous life without a few different names sticking?

Where do you live now?

I've moved to Las Vegas. It's in the name of my blog now to help people know.

Is your wife with you?

I don't have one of those anymore.

What? What happened?

It turns out I only fall for people who don't have consciences.

Why Vegas?

I've always wanted to move to Las Vegas. I love it here. I grew up coming here at least once or twice a year. My father worked here, my grandmother lived and died here, and I have a cousin and an Aunt here. Plus, work. It might be the only place on earth with opportunities to incorporate my entire skill set. 

Where are you working now?

I'm a Beverage Manager at MGM Grand. It's a dream job for me at this point in my career. I moved my relocation schedule up because they showed interest, and then I was in a holding pattern for a bit, while seasonal managers were moved around and whatnot. Now I'm training and excited about every second of it. There's a lot to take in.

Do you miss Virginia?

I miss some people in Virginia, and I kind of wished I'd seen the leaves change one last time. VA was pretty good to me, when it's all said and done. I did some amazing things professionally, and I saw some stuff I don't think most Americans get to. I lived in Virginia almost exactly the same amount of time I lived in Germany, and I still feel like a German in a lot of ways. Surely, I'll always have a little southern boy in me now, too.

Why didn't you move back to California, either to SF Bay or to live near your mother in SoCal?

I think I might have gotten all the personal development I can out of those places. And moving back to anywhere is symbolically unfortunate. I did consider Los Angeles, but Las Vegas has always been on my target list of places to live. I really want to live in a place where all my friends will visit me from all over the world. Who doesn't visit Vegas at least once? And if they were on the fence about it, now they have a reason to come. I'll always love California, but I don't know if I ever want to live there again.

What about the restaurant?

TBD

When is your new book coming out?

I'm almost halfway done with it. It's the most ambitious project I've ever undertaken in poetry, and it's the most difficult thing I've ever written. Some time in the middle of next year I hope.

Are you going to make any more videos?

I don't think so. I was turned off by the lack of response. Maybe I'll try again, but there's too much going on right now to edit videos. If I had someone to edit them for me, I'd do it.

Isn't Vegas crazy all the time?

Well, it can be. But on my morning runs, inside Las Vegas, I run down a street that often has chickens in the middle of it and there are horses and cows, too. I saw someone walking a miniature pony like a dog. Oh, and burros. And I live next to a fairly big casino. So it's a city of contradictions. I love contradictions. Come visit me and find out.

Aces & Ales

I heard Aces & Ales was one of the best craft beer bars in Las Vegas, so I went, and it's true.

It's got fire pits and great tables, it's really dark inside, and there are video poker games on the bar. They play good music, and the service is fantastic. Tons of TVs. Plus, free wifi so I could use Untappd to log all the beers I drank. Actually had to get a DD on this adventure because I planned on doing some serious drinking. It pays to have a cool friend who's Mormon (Thanks for driving, L).

The thing I liked most about this place was the staff. Two ladies were working the bar, and they were excellently friendly. I ordered the first couple beers on my own, but then I asked if there was something on the list I just had to try. She then revealed herself to be a wonderful guide and in possession of Cicerone-level beer knowledge. I love it when someone is really into what they do. You'd think that'd be an easy thing in beer, but a lot of times craft beer people can be snobby and aloof. Not at Aces & Ales; she was excited to share and happy to serve. When I got my bill I had to double check the prices because I thought it was light. But their pricing structure is very simple and cheaper than I expected, which is always nice.

Overall, a very pleasant experience. I can't wait to go back.

This was at the Tenaya location (there are two).

The Velveteen Rabbit on First Friday.

I'd been wanting to check out the Velveteen Rabbit for a bit.


On First Fridays Art Walk in Las Vegas, there are hot air balloon rides, probably a hundred or so booths, and at least as many food trucks. The arts district here is a fantastic place that couldn't help but remind me of all the Fridays I spent wandering Oakland for Art Murmur. There was a disproportionate amount of street art, spray paint stuff, but other than that, it was great. There were artists doing live paintings, fire workers doing their thing, and more live music than you know what to do with. Also, there were a few art cars on display that I'm sure are cast offs from past Burning Man festivals. First Fridays was great. I wish there were some poetry someplace. . . if there was, I didn't see it.

Bar stands were there, too. You could even text a number and a tequila rep would appear and buy you a drink. And there were mobile ATMs everywhere, too. All and all, just a wonderfully organized event.

There are even free shuttles from Fremont Street. So I went to the container park, got on a double-decker bus, and arrived right at the entrance of the walk. When I was done wandering, I came back to where the bus had dropped me off, and I found out it'd be a few minutes before the next shuttle arrived, and what did I see as I spun around looking for a way to fill my time?! The Velveteen Rabbit! I'd been meaning to get in there, and now was the perfect time!

The blue neon sign is a great clue as to what goes on in there. It's the arts district's mixology bar, replete with elegant DIY lighting, jiggers aplenty, a thick, unpolished bar, and knowledgeable barkeeps that keep things interesting. Super friendly and patient service is what I observed.

I started with one of their seasonal cocktails, asking the bartender what his favorite was. When he suggested one with peach schnapps and mescal, I was slightly apprehensive, but the smokiness balanced by the mellow sweetness was a welcome delight. Then I had a Hank-panky. When you order a drink with Fernet-Branca, "the bartender's handshake," it lets your new friend know you're not just some fuck who doesn't know what he's doing. It was perfect. Then I said one of my favorite things to say: Bartender's choice.

Remember the Maine

He made me a Remember the Maine. I had never had one before, and that's what I love about doing things this way. A new adventure in beverage! In fact, READ THIS ABOUT REMEMBER THE MAINE! It was one of this bartender's favorite classic cocktails, and we got into a pretty awesome conversation about what is great about life in the booze world.

Sidecar

My publisher texted me I should order a Sidecar because he was drinking one in Virginia. So I did, and it was transcendent. One of the bartenders said he went through a long spell when all he drank was Sidecars. I don't often go for them, but I was glad I did that night.

They also have a great beer selection. The tap markers are mannequin hands. A guy next to me was having a hard time trying to decide what to have, and I convinced him to get the Brown from Tenaya Creek. I told him not to sample it, but just get a pint and that if he didn't like it, I'd buy him a round. He loved it. Then he showed me naked pictures of girls he met on Tinder. Girls on Tinder don't send me naked pictures. It cracked me up because what else are you supposed to do in this crazy world where in the span of ten minutes you can have a history lesson taught by a cocktail made in 1933 about a ship exploding in 1898 and then have a guy show you nude photos of a faceless woman on a space age phone after discussing the merit of supporting your local brewery in a city that defies all probability every day?

Red Bull Cocktails

When I was a kid, Red Bull was a new thing. Vodka Red Bull was a good drink at clubs because well-vodka was often bottom-barrel stuff, and the Red Bull could keep you dancing. Some people gave this drink cute names, but no matter where you went, a Vodka Red Bull was right there. It tasted like gummibears soaked in kerosene, but I drank it happily. 

Soon, Jaeger with Red Bull started showing up. Then, there were a million new energy drinks, and countless flavored vodkas appeared, and then sweet malt liquor like Schmirnoff Ice. Alcapops. So as my tastes matured and developed, the market became more geared toward cocktails that tasted like children's treats. And people born just a couple years behind me are maybe a little stunted.

Then came the craft cocktail craze. I love it. I've been to a few of the best cocktail bars in the world, and I know a few celebrity mixologists, and I am enamored of this world of booze we live in today. It came along just in time for me. And in a small way, I've been a part of it. 

So I was googling around thinking about Red Bull because in Las Vegas, the slim cans are ubiquitous. I can often smell it spilled in the streets, and their logo emblazons everything from menus to billboards. Are there any "good" cocktails out there with Red Bull?

I found this: http://mybestcocktails.com/cocktails-with-115-Red-Bull.html

But most of the drinks on that list turn me off. 

If you know of any good ones, please let me know in the comments. 

Stratosphere

I went to the Stratosphere with my friend L. For $35 you get to go to the top of the tallest structure west of the Mississippi and ride all of the rides. It's a great way to spend an evening.

First though, L was running late, so I decided to play a few hands of Blackjack. The dealer was cool, and I was up to $100 at one point, but I ended up giving most of that back. I think I was $10 in the hole, but I tipped her and also had enough in chips left to tip the bartender at the lobby bar and the valet.

I asked for a Fernet Branca on rocks, but the bartender didn't know what that was (bad sign), so I ordered a Dirty Martini with Tanqueray. It came garnished with stale olives and a chip of ice, but it tasted right. The music was a mix, but there was more rock and roll than you usually get at places like this, and I dug that. "Everything is better with Rock and Roll."

L showed up and we figured out how to get to the top of the tower. The signage of the place and indeed the very flow of traffic seems to be a haphazard afterthought. The ladies at the counter selling tickets told us to use the machines. The machine contract must have gone to the lowest bidder. One was down, the other two ran like they were on DDOS. But it added to the fear of dying at the top.

The double-decker elevator is fun, there's a video screen showing the people riding beneath your feet. Your ears pop with the changing pressure. It's fast. At the top, more confusion as to where to go. I wondered if someone had spiked my drink. But the view!

I've been to the tops of many a tall building, but this is Las Vegas. Things are more fabulous out here. This glowing garden in the middle of the black valley looks like a shining testament to our humanity. Keep the crown jewels, England.

The bar up there was closed for a private party, so we couldn't get a drink, which was disappointing.

The rides are contraptions that dangle and spin you over the edge of the tower and shoot you off the top of it. Thrilling, terrifying, wonderful. I recommend doing all of them. I didn't feel like going on any of them more than once, so it wasn't a loss that we didn't buy bracelets that allow you to take unlimited rides.

I found out about Level 107 Lounge after this outing, so I'll be going back to the tower for that.

Big Dog's Brewing

Where I currently call home is right down the street from Las Vegas's oldest brewery, Big Dog's, and I've gone to their draft house a few time because it's pretty fantastic. Last night was the last game of the World Series, and the Giants were in it, and I'd only seen game one and four, so I went to Big Dog's where they have so many screens, you can look around and dig the people while watching the game. Turned out to be one of the best baseball games I'd seen in years, and what a place to watch it.

Vegas is weird when it comes to sports. Since the population is kind of made up of various diaspora, you'll find people loyal to their hometown sports teams everywhere you go. And Nevada doesn't have pro team, so it's different from anywhere I've ever been. For example, if you go to Chicago during baseball season, you're a Sox fan or a Cubs fan, that's it. Here, you can go into a bar and it'll be Giants fans sitting next to Royals fans.

Anyway, this brewery has ten or so beers they make there, and all of them are on point. In particular, I like their Dirty Dog IPA and their Tail Wagger Wheat is one of the better craft Hefeweizens I've had. In addition to that, they also have a huge selection of guest taps. This is a treat because I miss drinking some of the hard-to-get Goose Islands and Firestone Walkers. 

The decor is kind of cowboyish with rustic wood. They just installed glass rinsers at every tap standard, and they have a few kinds of glasses, so their presentation is pretty right on. Video poker at every seat at the bar, and screens EVERYWHERE if you're into that, but also they have a low-light outdoor seating area that they've done up nicely enough you don't feel like you're sitting in a parking lot. The personnel are knowledgeable, and they're acceptably quick even when they're busy as hell.

  

Also, free Wifi, which I shouldn't even have to tell you about, but I hate it when a bar doesn't have free Wifi. In fact, I hate it when any place doesn't have it. How am I supposed to give you free advertisement without it? Ugh, Caesars properties all want to charge you for it, and I abhor them for that. Just another reason to go anywhere else. Anyway, you can go on Untapped and log all your Big Dog's beers here because it's FREE!

I wish they'd have a couple more vegetarian options on their menu. They probably figure they don't have to because most of their clientele seem perfectly cool eating sausages and burgers, but I'm kind of a regular now, and all I get are fries or hummus. I got their Boca burger once, and it was OK. A Greek salad could be cool. or just a discount on getting salads without the meat could be an idea. I don't know, it would be nice to be able to come for dinner there more often.

I ended up sitting next to a guy from Seattle who grew up in Nebraska who liked Kansas City. It was fun watching the game with him until his lady started saying he doesn't watch baseball and was putting him down. I hate rude people like that. But over all, it was a really cool way to watch the Giants win the World Series and have a few great beers. I ordered a flight of five, and the bartender gave me an extra sample of their Oktoberfest "just for fun." I love this place.

Tenaya Creek

I went to Tenaya Creek. It's the second oldest brewery in Las Vegas (15 years). They've won a couple medals at GABF, and it's clear why: their beer is pretty delicious. Their taproom had video poker at every stool, and everyone, patrons and service, was really friendly. I ended up getting in conversations with a few people and even a famous doctor who was in town on holiday.

  

Video poker installed at almost every seat, and they have pinball too. I put 50 cents in their Lord of the Rings machine and played for 40 minutes. I dug their wrought iron flight-holding thing that looked like a sculpture.

They've got a few flagships including a fantastic Brown (not too sweet, a little nutty) and a Pale Ale you could write home about if you wanted to make your mom happy--she doesn't hear from you enough! But they also had a bunch of seasonals that were really quite impressive in that there were five of them and they were all kind of epic. The seasonal that stood out for me was the DIPA and their Barley Wine.

 

Someone ordered a Cosmo, and I asked the bartender if they got much call for that sort of thing. She said a lot of people come for the atmosphere even if they aren't beer people, and I can see why: it's a really chill place with friendly locals. Who wouldn't like that?