Saturday, April 19, 2008

Yesterday's Big Problems

Yesterday a lot of my friends had S.O. problems. Their boyfriends and girlfriends just weren't living up to the dream. I told them all the same thing. It was the same thing I always tell people having bf/gf problems: stick or quit. It sounds overly simplified, doesn't it? If you are unhappy, leave, if you aren't unhappy, you're not actually crying about anything at all and should go along your merry way and tie the knot as soon as possible. The thing about being human is that we want to be with one another. If you break up with someone, there are plenty of other humans around who will want you. If you break up a lot it starts looking pretty bleak, but then you find someone again, and you feel good. Every time you break up at any age after 16, you wonder if anyone will ever love you again. Someone will love you again. I know people who are over 65 and retired who are giving love another try after they've lost spouses to cancer. It's always cancer. Love is kind of like a cancer. A lot of things are like cancer.

I am not as pessimistic about relationships as I sometimes seem. I think that it is always beautiful to see two people trying to make something out of the magical chemicals swirling around inside and around them. It's thrilling. And now it's spring, and everyone is looking at everyone else, ad it's funny and exciting. But I'm harder on relationships because they are supposed to be enjoyable. Fights happen, but there really is no reason to feel anything other than joy even during the fights. That's why love fights are so confusing. You still love a person, but you are so frustrated that you can't say words without screaming. I never yell at lovers, but I know I'm different. It's not my fault, really. But if it's something more than a fight, like you feel that someone isn't being careful with your feelings or you feel like you are in a lop-sided relationship where one person loves the other more than they are being loved, you should end it. You can't change things like that. You can't change people. It's like driving a car with a flat tire, and you keep driving, hoping that it will fill back up with air.

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