Remember Stephanie Seymour?
She doesn't remember you either. She was rich when she met Axl Rose. You remember Axl Rose. She was rich and she was beautiful, and she went with Axl. AXL!
She didn't know that poets are better than musicians. We need to get the word out. Tell all your musician friends that they are pieces of crap. And that they stink really bad. And that they aren't as cool as poets.
I mean, Axl Rose was pretty poetic at times with hits like "You Could Be Mine" and "Welcome to the Jungle" but he was never really a poet. What would he do with Stephanie Seymour? He would beat the hell out of her, that's what.
I am going to save up money for an advertising campaign that says,
POETS: WE WON'T BEAT YOU UP IF YOU'RE RICH AND BEAUTIFUL AND MARRY US.
She only married him in the video, but come on.
I'll work on it. Look for this or something similar on a billboard in your town soon. This is for all of us now. Maybe:
POETS: IF YOU'RE RICH AND BEAUTIFUL, PLEASE COME TO A READING.I am sorry I couldn't find a naked picture of Axl for all of you who would have liked that better than Stephanie Seymour.
Don't mention Borroughs.
Of course, I meant Burroughs. Sorry. God rest his soul.
No one wants to see naked Axl. Now Bret Michaels, that's a whole 'nother thing. Thank God he has that reality show now. I have been waiting for his re-emergence for, like, a decade.
Not that Poison and G&R are even in the same category. "My Michelle" is one of the best songs EVER. Poison...whadda they have? "Nothin But a Good Time" and "Every Rose Has Its Thorn?" But they do have Bret Michaels. That is what they have.
Poets are way better than musicians. They are for sure better alcoholics than musicians.
Like if you put up John Berryman vs. The Ghost of Jim Morrison in a drinkin' contest, John Berryman would totally win.
Which makes poets clearly more badass.
"clearly more badass" indeed, but we, as in you and you and I, may be wrong
We are not wrong.
In every way, poets are better. I love music, and I've loved musicians, but I have also loved rice crispy treats.
Yes, I have been tricked into liking all kinds of crap.
Poetry was always something off-limits in a way. So much more bad ass.
And yes, we drink.
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