Have You Read Live Nude Girls?

LIVE NUDE GIRLS

Hope might be a trap. It might be what keeps us all going, but it might destroy you. Or it might just be what gets you on Oprah.

Kevin Postupack wrote this incredible novel ostensibly about a bisexual stripper with an overactive mind and who's maybe too much of an autodidact. She's a voracious reader with ADHD and an extreme imagination. But what the novel's really about is identity.

What's in a name?

Every character in the book has an alias, and you'd think this'd be a little confusing but it isn't. People are able to be two things at once, and rather than make this liminal space off-limits to the reader, Postupack invites you to inhabit it with Daphne and her assassin cat, Noodles. It's easy to do because the narrator is operating under the assumption that we all contain multitudes.

Like Schrödinger's cat, we're alive and dead at the same time, but rather than keep that proverbial box closed, Postupack spends his time ripping the tops off them like Cracker Jack boxes looking for prizes. Sometimes there's a prize, and sometimes you get a dead cat, but the courage to keep opening them is something worth celebrating, and I think Kevin Postupack's novel does that with aplomb.

Live Nude Girls is sexy without being crude, deep without being preachy, and hilarious without being corny. Those are all hard balancing acts.

There's even a Nazi-hunter, a self-declared goddess/restaurateur, and a Cuban strip-club-owner who claims to have prescient visions. The name of the strip club? Pandora's. You can't help but open that one.

---

Prometheus could see the future, and Epimetheus could see the past. Epimetheus is often called the "foolish brother" but how could he be? Wouldn't an accurate and crystal clear remembrance of the past endow you with great wisdom? Wouldn't you almost be able to predict the future based on the events of the past? After all, that's how statistics work.

Anyway, the box: It was given to Pandora as a dowry after Hephaestus built her with beauty and cunning. But it was Zeus's plan to unleash plagues onto man via her box to take them down a notch. They'd recently been blessed with agriculture and fire. So out of her jar came disease and famine and hard work and all the other evil fates that befall men. . . but only one is mentioned by name. Elpis, hid under the lid, claiming instead to be the only palliative to assuage the plight of man. Elpis means Hope.

But I think Elpis was simply the most clever of the fates, endeavoring to stay close to us in order to inflict the most constant, enduring pain of all.

Aces & Ales

I heard Aces & Ales was one of the best craft beer bars in Las Vegas, so I went, and it's true.

It's got fire pits and great tables, it's really dark inside, and there are video poker games on the bar. They play good music, and the service is fantastic. Tons of TVs. Plus, free wifi so I could use Untappd to log all the beers I drank. Actually had to get a DD on this adventure because I planned on doing some serious drinking. It pays to have a cool friend who's Mormon (Thanks for driving, L).

The thing I liked most about this place was the staff. Two ladies were working the bar, and they were excellently friendly. I ordered the first couple beers on my own, but then I asked if there was something on the list I just had to try. She then revealed herself to be a wonderful guide and in possession of Cicerone-level beer knowledge. I love it when someone is really into what they do. You'd think that'd be an easy thing in beer, but a lot of times craft beer people can be snobby and aloof. Not at Aces & Ales; she was excited to share and happy to serve. When I got my bill I had to double check the prices because I thought it was light. But their pricing structure is very simple and cheaper than I expected, which is always nice.

Overall, a very pleasant experience. I can't wait to go back.

This was at the Tenaya location (there are two).

Sketchup

A friend convinced me Sketchup is an important life skill.

I made this table in an early tutorial.

Just a roof tutorial I messed with for practice.

You know that big Apple fest where Steve Jobs used to give his keynotes? I was there when Jobs introduced the Apple TV. That was the first time I saw Sketchup. Google was there showing off all its cool new stuff. My friend Justin and I imagined a world where Google Earth would be tied to it and you could walk into any building in the world virtually because every building had been modeled in Sketchup. Well, it's hooked up with Google Earth now, and that's cool, but you still can't walk into every building in the world. How cool will that be though?

I got to mess around a little with Sketchup and was probably one of the first people to download it, but I put it on the back burner for a long time because I just feel more at home in Adobe.  I'd used other 3D software before and had a bad taste in my mouth (I used to sleep at my office waiting for things to render).

But things change and I thought I'd take another crack at it, and I love it. I'm devouring tutorials. I hope to recreate breweries in Sketchup and animate virtual tours about the brewing process. Brewing always has the same components from brewery to brewery, but they're all set up differently, and the way the liquid travels through physical space is really interesting to me. Brewers tell me all the time that if they had set up their breweries, they'd have done it differently. Wouldn't it be cool to check out what brewers are doing all over the world? There could be a whole new world of virtual collaborations that use Sketchup models. And fans of your beer could go in and take tours imagining they're there. And when they expand their operations, they could virtually create additions and reorganize their space. and, and, and,

And I'm still just a Sketchup n00b, but I hope to be making a model of my apartment soon, so I can make better use of my space. There's a lot of clutter at my place right now, and there's gotta be a better way.

Agritourism and Beer

Breweries per capita

Virginia is getting pretty craft beer crazy. When I got here, most people didn't know what an IPA was and now I could almost drink local beer exclusively. It's an exciting time to be in the beer business.

Lately, there have been a lot of articles like this good one saying what so many brewers are saying, a plateau and a die-off are coming. It's a bit premature to get too worried about, I think, but I thought I'd put my two cents in about how a brewery in a place like Virginia could weather the storm so many prophets are presaging.

Agritourism!

Agritourism has been the darling buzzword in this state for years, and I think beer and farmers need to get in bed a bit more. As airfare rates rise, they vacation closer to home. As more people move to cities, they want to visit rural areas to see the trees, the cows, the pastures, the horses, the eagles, the streams, the mountains, the sunrise over the Blue Ridge, etc.

We've already seen the start of this. More and more, I meet people from DC and Maryland and New York who are coming to float down rivers and hike. They want to pick apples and strawberries and hops. They want sit back and enjoy everything local about the Shenandoah Valley, and that includes the beer.

I've got a ton of ideas about how farmers and outdoor adventures companies and breweries can start working together to build stronger economies in our rural areas. I think it's the future. I want to get a brainstorming session going.

Psuedo Craft

I'm growing to hate the likes of Blue Moon and Shock Top. If you didn't already know, Blue Moon is a Miller-Coors product, and Shock Top is an Anheuser-Busch-In-Bev brand. They occupy what is known as the Pseudo Craft segment of your beer aisle alongside Premium, Import, Subpremium, and Craft.

I used to think that of course the big guys wanted a seat at the table when it came to craft beer. It's growing in sales and prestige; why wouldn't the megabrands want a piece? In the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, it talks about coming from a standpoint of a abundance rather than scarcity, so I thought there was room for everyone to have fun in the wonderful space we call craft. But now it's becoming clear the giants want crush craft again. They've tried before by smashing distribution rights and whatnot (see Beer Wars), but now they're like Neo when he jumps into an agent and destroys him from the inside. It's a bummer.

And today I look at the Harrisonburg Beer Elite group on Facebook only to find this article. Ugh.

Highland Brewing Trip in Asheville

The first place I stopped when I got to Asheville was Table, where my good friend Connie Coady works as a manger. It's a great restaurant with great cocktails. I missed Connie Coady a lot. It is one of the great tragedies of living a peripatetic life that one rarely gets to spend time with the he people he loves. But it's also, then, even more wonderful seeing long-lost friends across chasms of time.

Minouche is kind of lady in charge over at Highland Brewing Company. She's a wonderful person who is a credit to the industry. She gave Connie Coady and me a tour of the brewery. We'll get to that later. First we tried a bunch of wonderful beer. I love this brewery. They're the best-selling craft beer in North Carolina, and I'd really like to see them do more up here in Virginia.

Asheville is filled with breweries. You can just wander around the town and find something cool to check out if beer is one of things you find cool, and why wouldn't you? Above is a picture of Lexington Avenue Brewery (LAB). LAB makes some good beers, but what I like about their brewery the most is their streetside outdoor eating area. I met some new friends out there, and they drove me to the next brewery--people are really nice in the south.

The next brewery we I went to was Asheville Brewing Company. They had a firkin going. I'm always trying to get more spots to do firkins. It is a one-of-a-kind beer every time, and it's the perfect reason for a person to go out and visit a bar or restaurant instead of sitting at home. If you're looking to give your guests a special experience and get more folks to pay attention to your beer program, talk to your vaeagle rep about firkins today!

Then a friend from Staunton, VA came to meet me there. Nuit is a person who's full of awesome energy, so she was up for continuing my adventure with me. . . after a few drinks, of course.

More beers need to get ninja.

After hitting a drum circle and a couple more breweries, we made it back to Table. We hung out with Coady's S.O., Alex Matisse, and he took a picture of me with his friends from Texas. Upstairs, there's a great cocktail bar. We closed the bar.

Ornate entrance to the brewery.

Taps at Highland.

Giant Papier Mâché Scottish Highland mascot.

Master brewer on a lift.

Even the coffee bars have craft draft in Asheville. Fantastic. I hate it when people tell me they don't have the space for draft beer. This is a tight space pictured, and it works fine.

A cup of coffee was the last thing I drank with Conn Coady and Alex Matisse. I wish it were in one of his incredible cups.

If you haven't been to Asheville yet, go. It's a lovely town filled with lovely people and lovely beer. There are great restaurants, cool bars, and even a store that only sells belt buckles. I bought one that says JACK because I was told that was a thing in the south back in the 70's or something.

I can't wait to go back.

Starr Hill this Thursday at the Hot Spot

Starr Hill Brewery has this awesome line of beer called "All Access." It's sort of their experimental, showcase line where you can really see why the company is as successful as it it. All the beers are inspired by music in this line, and all of them (so far) are pretty incredible. 

The last one was Psycho Kilter, a wee heavy that is almost all gone in the state of Virginia, was awesome. My band did an opening, kind of a release party, for it at the Pompei Lounge in Staunton. People went crazy for it. Plus, it was just a great night with the Murder Bros. I personally had a good night, and there was not shortage of people coming up to me and telling me what a success the evening was.

This week, we're doing it again at the Hot Spot for the new Starr Hill All Access, Little Red RooStarr Coffee Cream Stout. We're turning it into a Tap Takeover and Steal the Pint Night. So every tap at the Hot Spot in Waynesboro will be Starr Hill, and if you buy a pint, you get to keep the branded glass.

I love events like this but of course, with a lot of moving parts comes a lot of things that could go wrong. The band we were supposed to play with cancelled at the last second, and for a minute I was really worried we wouldn't get all the beer we needed for the event. 

But now, we're back on track, and an even better band will be playing with the Murder Bros. on Thursday; namely, Dead Professional!

I can't wait. It's a free event, so you should come.