Peanut Butter Month: Peanut Butter and Carrot Cake

Step 1: Get your wife to make you carrot cake.
Step 2: Cover it in peanut butter.
Step 3: MICROWAVE!
Step 4: Appreciate National Peanut Butter Appreciation Month.

Peanut Butter Blondies with Chocolate Sauce

I had never had blondies before this peanut butter appreciation month.
They're kind of like brownies but are a little lighter. My wife looked
up a vegan blondies recipe online and I made chocolate sauce with some
cocoa powder.

They tasted unbelievable.

Murder Bros. Show Tonight in Waynesboro

47 Million Turkeys Will Be Murdered for Tomorrow's "Holiday"

How to pose with YOUR dead turkey!!!

The Masonic Building

I used to work on the fourth floor of the Masonic Building in Staunton. It's an interesting, historic building.

Special Occasion at Pompeii

Squirrel Nut Oatmeal for Peanut Butter Montg

I invented these things called Squirrel Nuts. When I was on a run I
saw all the squirrels tending their various caches getting ready for
winter and I thought, "they don't put them in trees like in cartoons;
they put them in the dirt; don't they mind their nuts getting dirty?
Why stick them in the ground?" I decided they must like the taste
better after their nuts have been buried.

I took crunchy peanut butter and rolled little balls with my fingers
and a spoon.

Then I rolled the balls in brown sugar (the dirt).

Finally I covered a bowl of oatmeal with them.

Delicious! It tastes kind of like the inside of a butterfinger
candybar. Butterfingers aren't vegan, so I haven't eaten one in many
years, but that's what squirrel nuts reminded me of. Yum!

Fun fact: there is no cholesterol in peanut butter. Some people think
there is, but there isn't. There's no such thing as a vegan food item
with cholesterol, meaning I have not knowingly or purposely consumed
ANY cholesterol for many years. Awesome, right?! Cholesterol kills
more people than cigarettes.

Peanut Butter Month: Red Light / Green Light

Peanut butter is incredible on rice cakes. You can get the low sodium rice cakes and be happy with your life because you're eating fewer calories and no gluten.

Here, I put old fashion cherry jam and a special green pepper jam that it also "ye olde" on top of the peanut butter to make a kind of open-faced sandwich.

Green pepper jam smells spicy, but it's actually rather sweet, and I'd recommend it to you, but it's hard to find. If you do find some, eat it on crackers with margarine and on rice cakes with peanut butter. Then tell a friend. Everyone like purple grape jelly, but it usually has a ton of HFCS in it, and it's always nice to branch out from the things our mothers fed us as children. We're adults now; time to define and refine our own tastes. Be ADVENTUROUS!

Humane Turkeys

These are "Certified Humane Turkeys." There are not enough in America to feed all of the Americans who will be celebrating Thanksgiving next week. Most people will be eating force-fed animals that were raised in atrocious conditions, slaughtered in ways that would make you cringe and maybe cry, and pumped full of chemicals and antibiotics.

The word humane is an interesting one. It suggests ethical. Because the best human beings are ethical creatures, humane has come to mean the best of us. It's very strange to me that "humane killing" or "humane slaughter" are combinations that even exist. "Humane war" and "humane rape" should also be considered acceptable following this logic.

I read once that turkeys are the most environmentally friendly animals because they convert grain to meat quite well, thus being energy efficient. Energy efficiency is important since we're running out of oil and everything. But humane?!

Below is what a humane turkey looks like. It's made of soy and wheat. It tastes great. There isn't any POOP in it. Turkeys who once had heads, no matter how clean the slaughterhouse in which they met their doom, all have a little POOP in them. Happy Thanksgiving!

Photo

Kendra Malone's Book

I haven't read this book. I want to read this book. Here is a really great review of the book to get you excited about reading it, too. Kendra Malone is pretty fantastic.

Peanut Butter Burrito?

If you've ever been a poor artist, you've come up with some crazy
combos in the kitchen. When finance limits your arsenal of
ingredients, it's time to experiment. I'm delighted to share one happy
result I have encountered under dire circumstances: the peanut butter
burrito!

It's always reminded me of the crepes served up at Christmas markets
in central Europe.

First, take a tortilla from the cupboard. For some reason, my mom
always kept tortillas in the fridge after she opened them. They got
hard quickly. I discovered by accident that they stay fresher longer
at room temperature in a cupboard or pantry.

Next, put some peanut butter and some kind of preserves or jam in the
middle of your tortilla. I used old fashioned cherry jam here, but be
creative.

Then, get something crunchy and put it on there. I used walnuts this
time, but I've also used breakfast cereal, sesame seeds, and many
other crunchy things over the years.

Roll it all up like burrito.

Last, heat up your oven to about 300 degrees. You can also use a
frying pan or a crepe plate. The key is to heat up the thing quickly.
If you're good at flipping it (about 5 mins each side has always
worked well for me), the peanut butter will get nice and gooey and hot
but the jam will stay firmish.

Soooo good. Trust me on this.

Peanut Butter Month Commences

Peanut butter and celery is one of the greatest things for you and one
helluva delicious snack or meal. Peanut butter is high in protein but
it also has a few more calories than you probably want if you're on a
diet or something. Celery on the other hand is calorically negative!
Do you know what that means? Subtract calories from the PB when you
spread it on celery. It feels like cheating on an algebra test. A+!

Tip: cut a lot of small celery pieces and stick them in a zip-loc for
later, and deposit a paper towel soaked with water in there too. The
celery will stay fresh for ages that way, always ready to be spread
upon with delectable peanut butter!

Gig in Harrisonburg #1

The Murder Bros. is having its first gig in Harrisonburg. We're extremely excited about it. Doing a show in Harrisonburg so soon after our show in Staunton is really great, and it gets us going for a goal I've set for us: one gig a month.

The show is free, so if you live in the area, please come!
Also, please find us on Facebook. It would be great to get our "like" number up. Thanks.

Sick. O. Suspension of Peanut Butter Project

I am sick. And I'm one of those weirdos who can't resign himself to
it. I cannot bare being out of commission for longer than 36 hours. So
instead of peanut butter awesomeness, I have been eating bulbs of
onions and cloves of garlic. I smell like Van Helsing. Garlic and
onions are supposed to beat your cold quickly. I'm hoping to wake up
tomorrow ready for more peanut butter deliciousness.

Something seems off about the Obermann suspension. The truth is I hate
all TV news. Anyone in the news biz is there to rile you up and
confuse you on important issues. I've seen Obermann's show and thought
it was funny, but that was many years ago. All the hate on both sides
of politics these days bothers me. The very notion of a suspension is
a laughable atavism to when equal time was still law and journalistic
integrity was still cherished. If O'Reilly were suspended it'd be just
as laughable. It's like suspending Hulk Hoagan from wrestling because
they found out he knew all along who would win the match, and that
calls into question the integrity of the WWF. Come on.

Jack Morgan
www.trainwreckunion.com

I Would Die for Peanut Butter

Anyone who loves or loved Atari Teenage Riot understands the title of
this post. Below is chocolate bread pudding with peanut butter sauce
as a topping. This is one of the most delicious vegan deserts I've
ever had.

Mary Morgan made it for me for national peanut butter month. I'd like
to eat it every day. The last of it went late at night. The perfect
late night snack if you ask me.

Peanut Butter Month Begins

In honor of Peanut Butter Appreciation Month, I'm going to try to post
a new peanut butter wonder every day in November.

Today, preacher cookies my wife made. They're vegan and delicious.
Apparently called preacher cookies because you can make them quickly
when your nose, collared friend shows up unannounced. You don't bake
them; they're served chilled. Delicious with soy milk! I had them for
breakfast today with coffee.

Very addictive.