Friday, December 17, 2010

The Parasitic Twin Living inside of Mary Morgan's Head

I had to write an apology to a friend today. This is an excerpt. I guess I'm a big jerk.

Sorry I joked about the whole parasitic twin living inside of Mary Morgan's head. I thought it would be funny if people all over town believed that she had a dark twin living in her brain making her do mean things. I don't know where the joke became so big in our conversation, but since I thought it was funny, I kept letting you buy into the idea.

Anyway, sorry you took it to heart so much. I didn't mean to upset you.

My friend got really upset because I told her that my wife had a teratoma in her skull that had to be operated out. In reality, she only had a viral infection in her head because she had a sinus infection but refuses to drink more than a glass of water a day or take any vitamins, so it worsened and caused a horrible migraine and she had to go to the hospital. She still won't drink extra water or take vitamins. Why do people think that magic pills are more powerful than water and vitamins? Doctors are not wizards. I had the same viral infection, and I'm fine right now because I drank two (2) pitchers of water and took six thousand milligrams (6000mg) of vitamin C daily until I got better. I also ate a bunch of onions and garlic and spicy stuff, all things that are good against viruses. Getting better from a cold is easy; it's not brain surgery!

6 comments:

Boopst said...

Well, technically when one is dealing with a migraine to themselves, it can or may be referred to as brain surgery.? I know it's that way whenever I feel any type of illnesses? The whole mind over matter,cement on the bricks,syrup over the waffles,and bumble-bee buzz from brain butt-meg. That old chestnut.. Anyway, you seem like a fairly interesting individual for the vinyl(Record)for which I had to clarify and wonder aimlessly why at all of the whimsical unknown and inexplicable offerings of our Mother Nature's beautifully Cha-Hectic offerings! Love all, tall, small, those that still crawl or even tend to bawl, Matthew P. Simply (Deal)

Jack Morgan said...

Migraines are serious business. This is not a migraine, thank god.

Cafe Confidential said...

You should feel really bad about this entry since it was none of the above. No amount of water in the world fixes a pinched nerve, Jack Morgan.

Cafe Confidential said...

You should feel really bad about this entry since it was none of the above. No amount of water in the world fixes a pinched nerve, Jack Morgan.

Lindsay Curren said...

Well it sounds like what you did to this person was thoughtless, and wretched. But if she's any kind of person she will forgive you and move on and one day will likely crack a joke about it or buy you a parasitic brain twin ice cube or something for your cocktail conversation piece collection. I hope that happens, for all of your sakes.

Jack Morgan said...

I think we all have pretty good senses of humor once everything's said and done, so this will probably all end well.