Wednesday, April 23, 2008

My Cupcake Story


I woke up feeling like Napoleon in the rain.
Confused and defeated.
Everything around me was broken.
I was angry at myself and everyone else in the world, and I thought I had lost my journal, which represents a lot of work.

Everything was messed up, and I felt like my whole life was a mess.

I looked in the fridge to see if anything was rotting. There I found a cupcake that I bought at Rick and Anne's yesterday. It was the most beautiful cupcake I had ever seen. My friend Liz Howe makes extremely delicious cupcakes. This one was S'Mores-flavored and was the most beautiful cupcake I have ever seen in my life. I didn't eat it yesterday because I don't like eating cupcakes in public, where people can see me deriving pleasure. It occurred to me that I never liked cupcakes until I met Elizabeth Howe. And I took a picture of the cupcake's brother yesterday, when Sara was going to eat it. I remembered that I felt like I couldn't wait to eat the cupcake yesterday. Deriving pleasure where no one could see me. I had really looked forward to it. And there it was. The most beautiful cupcake in the world.

And then I noticed the marshmallow.
And it occurred to me that I still don't know what the hell a marshmallow is. It must be made of dead animals, thought I. Nothing as Pax-Americana as a marshmallow could come from anything but a dead animal.

I thought, fuck it. I'm going vegan.
And I threw the cupcake in the garbage.

I looked at my fish, and Desdemona is sick.
Fuck it, I said,
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I'm going Vegan

4 comments:

make_a_scene said...

Sorry you felt so bad, but good luck to you with your vegan adventures. & the cupcake looks marvelous, I'm sure it brightened up your trash.

Jack Morgan said...

Bad feelings have short lives.

Cameron said...

Marshmallows and vegetarians
Marshmallows were originally made with the extract of the homonymous plant (marsh mallow) acting as a gelling agent. Most commercially manufactured marshmallows use gelatin instead of real marshmallow extract because of the expense. Many vegetarians avoid gelatin, as it is usually derived from animal hides or bones. Commercial kosher pareve marshmallows may also be considered unsuitable for vegetarians; they usually use fish gelatin. However, fish is deemed not to be meat in kashrut, so they are an option for some, including those of the Hindu faith, who often avoid bovine by-products.

It is possible to make marshmallows without gelatin by making them the traditional way, by using powdered marshmallow root (or by boiling chopped marshmallow roots in water), egg whites, cane sugar, and vanilla extract, although marshmallow root may be difficult to obtain. They also can be made using commercially-available gelatin alternatives. Other vegetable gums often make an unsatisfactory product that does not have the spring or firmness expected of gelatin-based marshmallows. Some marshmallows marketed as appropriate for vegans are made using carrageenan and agar as gelling agents.[3]

Marshmallow fluff and other less firm marshmallow products generally contain little or no gelatin, which mainly serves to allow the familiar marshmallow confection to retain its shape. They generally use egg whites instead. Non-gelatin versions of this product may be consumed by ovo vegetarians.

Jack Morgan said...

Thanks Cameron. So, unless I go out and find special marshmallows, I'd be eating bones. I don't eat bones.And I don't eat fish.