My asthma has been keeping me pretty much out of action this week. Yesterday, I thought I had to go to the ER twice! Sometimes, when it's really hard to breathe, I think, "this is how I am going to die. Maybe not today, but like this." It's hard to have real thoughts when you're brain isn't getting any oxygen.
I opened the fridge to get some mustard, and I felt like I had run a mile.
The asthma websites want me to be vegan. I am vegan. They want me to stop drinking redwine in the summer. I have put all my bottles away for the season. I haven't drunk a drop of alcohol in a week. They want me to put tea tree oil in a towel and breath through the towel. It stings my nose and makes my lips numb.
I bought bottles of MSM, Magnesium, Chinese healthy lung, and a multi-vitamin. When I take the handful of pills at once, I think, "This must be what it feels like to be a chicken." Chickens swallow gravel to help chew their food.
When you're having an attack, you try anything to stop it. I hate Albuterol and all other rescue meds, but I suck down a shit ton of them when it looks like my lips might go blue. When you're trying anything and everything, it's hard to know what works and what doesn't. Perhaps it all works in concert. I take long hot baths that are uncomfortably warm because a website told me that would help dilate my bronchial tubes.
This is how I will die.